8.1.09

Let Me Clear My Throat...

It's a New Year. I've never made New Year's Resolutions before and I doubt that I am about to start, but there are a few things about myself that I am ready to change and/or adapt. For instance, I think that I need to stop trying to please everyone. It's hurting my health. Therefor, if I come across as bitch at times, so be it. It is who I am. I don't want to be anyone else but me.

I was recently offended by someone who is "unwilling to accept my brother for his lifestyle choices." My brother, my most favorite person in the world, who is the kindest, funnest, smartest, most empathetic, sincere, genuine, intuitive person I know. My brother is also gay. Being raised in a small, close-knit LDS community, he was shunned and disowned by some when he came out 4 years ago.

Moving to New York was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. It gave me the opportunity to get to know my brother as himself. As a gay man loving who he is and his life. Of course it isn't always easy for him, as it never is for anyone, but he has the courage to stand up to everyone and be proud of who he is. It makes me even prouder to be in his life.

When someone, who is LDS and therefore professes to live a Christ-like life, says that they are "unwilling to accept Nick for his lifestyle choices" comes across as very hypocritical to me. All I can say to that is FUCK YOU!!! I will choose my family over anything else. Always.

Living outside of Utah was good for me to learn to not be judgmental and to accept others for their goodness. One of my best friends in New York had never known a Mormon. She thought some of my beliefs were a little whack, but I will never forget what she said... "Hey, as long as you are not getting onto planes and blowing people up, I don't really care what you do in the name of religion." I hope that I can always be like Renee. She is wonderful:) I miss her. I don't think my religion is the only religion that people should to belong to. And that if they don't belong to the same religion as me, that I will not accept them. What is right for me may not be what is right for another. That is the beauty of this life... things that are different and the opportunities to make choices.

And the lovely thing about this blog is that it is mine. I get to say whatever I want and will not censor it for "social acceptance." If you don't like it, don't read it.

15 comments:

hilla said...

Amen and thank God I've left Utah for this reason most particularly!!

beck said...

that is funny that hilla said amen because that is exactly what i was thinking! amen sista!

beck said...

and i am pretty sure the "fuck you" just made my day.

Graham and Kate said...

As with Becky, I agree. :) Family is and always will be the most important!

In response to your question... Jack. I'm a total Jack fan. He's brunette, a doctor, and just damn hot! And for the cereal part... it varies. I just love it.. To bad my ass doesn't!

Oh, and I would gladly borrow you that copy of 3 cups of Tea, if it didn't belong to Washington County Library.. { Crap one at that.. had to wait almost a month to get it.} Read it though. I'm still thinking about it, and I finished it a few days ago!

The Malie's said...

I think it's so sad when people are raised in Utah and, therefore, have such closed minds. I agree with you, the "mormon way" is not the only way. I won't ever understand people who don't accept someone because of what they believe or how they live their life or whatever!

ashlynn said...

1st off I love you Carly & I love Nick & I learned long ago that loving someone is possible no matter what religion you belong to, where you were raised & where you reside. I've lived outside Utah as well & had good & bad exeriences. After I took the chip off my shoulder I stopped caring what people thought of me or said. Every religion, city, state & family has good & bad so don't be too harsh.

Family always comes 1st & people who are into YOUR business most of the time are just gossips who are looking for more to talk about. I had my share of moms who diane want their sons to date me because my sisters got prego out of wedlock so they figured I would too! People are awesome, which is why I love being with people I love.

Next time I need a warning for future fbombs I am a swearing pride. :)

ashlynn said...

Ps my phone changes my words so I meant to say prude not pride & didn't not diane

Tiffany said...

Can I get another amen! I often rant and rave about this very topic. I wasn't a popular person at church when the proposition about marriage came around last November. Just another reason I adore you Miss Carly.

Lesley said...

Amen! To love Christ is to love everyone! Period! LOVE YOU.

Emily said...

Car- that was quite the vent. I am sure you deal with a lot of crap, and i understand sticking up for your big bro who you adore like i do mine. But just stay strong and remember the Gospel is perfect NOT the people. Don't let a few get you down.
Love ya lots- and we will do dinner and a movie again and you won't be able to ditch out, it's been too long.

Tyler & Jessica said...

Hell yeah Carls :) I couldn't agree more. I adore you! Family loyalty all the way!!

Mindi said...

i always wanted to be friends with you because you weren't a milque-toast.

way to tell the world off, carly.

there are a few people that i kind of wish i could do the same to......can you come over to my blog and do it for me?

i've got your back!

Robyn said...

Good for you Carly and good for your brother for being able to do something so brave. It is so refreshing to see a family that is so accepting and loving!

Crowther Clan said...

Carly all I can say is WoW! You wrote this well. I can't believe some of the people in the "Mormon" religion. I was looked at badly for getting pregnant at such a young age & why do people care in such a negative way?? I tried to make it positive, but when you have people staring & talking shit it's knda hard. All I know is people have way to much time on their hands. It's amazing how Brandon & I have been treated since we went to the temple. You gotta love fake people. GOOD JOB for sticking up for your Bro!!

Alana said...

Carly, where have I been? How did I miss this post? I look all the time and just kept glancing at the hot water seeing there was nothing new. Somehow I missed this.

I couldn't agree more! One thing lots in "these parts" don't realize is that our strong belief in OUR religion is not an exclusive feeling. Others believe in their beliefs as strongly as we do! Ultimately, we will be judged on our hearts and LOVE for everyone. How is everyone missing this boat?

I cry when I hear you talk about your brother because it reminds me of mine. He would never even let me bad-mouth a stranger on television. He simply wouldn't allow it in his presence. He was the most loving and giving and PERFECT soul I have ever known. A few said some awful things to me about just that- his soul- because he committed suicide last year. I had never been more hurt by people's lameness. If anyone is going to heaven- it's him- way before me!!! I could never aspire to be as pure as he was.

It's our hearts people! Kindness, not cruelty. Anyway, thanks for the good post.